One Mom's Reality

DIY Fabric Bag

2012-01-30T20:44:00.000-08:00

Since I grew up trick or treating with a pillowcase, I thought it would be fitting to modify a pillowcase tutorial in helping me to make trick or treat bags for my kids this past Halloween. (yes I am way behind on posting this tutorial.) I took one of their library bags to get the size and bottom panel. This is my first time doing a do-it-yourself tutorial. So if you want to make a bag and have questions on anything, just ask :)

You will need 3 different coordinating fabrics:
For the Main Bag Fabric you will need:
1- 11" x 28" piece,
1- 3" x 11 3/4" panel (this will be the bottom piece)

Hem
1- 5" x 28" piece

Trim
1- 1 1/2" x 28" piece

Straps (using one of the 3 fabrics from the main, hem, or trim)
2- 3" x 20"

The trick-or-treat fabric is my main (also bottom panel and straps)

The Black boo is the Hem

and the orange is the trim.

Now to sew:

-Fold the trim in half lengthwise right side out and press

-lay hem fabric right side up along the top

-lay main fabric wrong side up with other fabric tops-then roll up starting from bottom until the roll is shorter then the hem (pictured below with the tops on the left)

Fold the hem fabric over the rolled up main fabric and pin (pictured below)

-Sew along the raw edges, leaving a 1/4'' to 1/2'' space.

-Turn tube right side out

-Press (you can also sew the trim flat against the main fabric)

-With wrong side out fold in half and sew the raw edges with zig-zag (this is the side of the bag)

-Pin in bottom panel starting from short side and with the main bag seam in the middle of the bottom panel, and sew with zig-zag. (the panel is optional you can just sew the bottom of the bag like the side and it will be more like a pillowcase)

Your main bag should be completed at this point.

For the straps:

-fold in lengthwise, right side in, and sew.

-Turn right side out

-Press so seam is in the middle (optional)

-tuck 1/2'' to 3/4'' of each end back inside tube (creating a hem) and press

-sew one end of strap onto one side of the main bag 4" from one side and the opposite end 4" from the other side

-repeat for other strap and side

I used a 1" square with diagonal (pictured below)

YOU ARE DONE!

You can add pockets and have a great little all purpose bag.

It was easy enough that I might make some more!

A New Chapter

2012-01-29T19:49:00.000-08:00

Today my husband was called as the Branch President. It is a bitter-sweet thing. As with most aspects of the gospel- with responsibility come blessings. I am not sure what trials it will bring into our life/marriage/family, but I do know that the Lord will be there for us and to help us. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord's church. It is a perfect gospel full of imperfect people. I am glad that I have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life through family members and friends. It is interesting to reflect back on the past and see the changes that have come. I keep thinking of my friend who is the wife of a Bishop and a story she has about someone telling her that "a Bishop's wife shouldn't dance like that" when she was out having fun (and knowing her it was just being silly, no risque moves or anything like that) during a stake activity. I don't want to wonder if people are judging the gospel or the quality of priesthood leader my husband is by things I do. I know they will. I hope it won't offend or negatively influence them.
The Stake President gave us some counsel when he issued the call and the 2 things that stuck the most was:
1-it will be like living in a glass house
2- Satan will try hard to influence us because if he can get us to do something wrong, he can potentially 'spiritually hurt' our branch. (not quite how he put it but that is because I am not a eloquent writer or thinker, especially when I am tired :)

So, here goes the new chapter of our lives.

Love

2012-01-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

Love

Lately this topic has been on my mind. One-because I know of 3 differing examples and 2-because of this craft I saw called the "I love you because" board.

The examples of love are 1- a middle aged couple who are currently not living together but still speak and go places as if they are together. The are not in the same house because the husband was offended by in-laws "overtaking" his home during the holidays and his mild mannered wife didn't speak up, so he kicked her out. There is a type of love here.
2-a young couple, who were high school sweethearts, with multiple kids, getting a divorce because he "hasn't loved her for a while now." There was love here but it stopped somewhere.
3-an older couple who no longer have kids in the house but seem to be still dating and as much in love now as in the beginning of their marriage. This to me is a rekindled love.
At one point "love" may have been in all 3 marriages. But what I have learned about love is that it's forgiving, unselfish, understanding, is a continuously changing picture (i.e. what you love them for today may not be the same reason you love them tomorrow), is something that you can't take for granted and is something that doesn't fade away but stops growing.

The "I love you because" board got me thinking about the reasons that I love my husband and at first I felt like I was drawing a blank (very sad I know). Then I thought of some of the trivial things that are at most temporary reasons to love a person. But finally deeper, more meaningful, heartfelt things were coming to mind.
Needless to say that with the "love because" reasons going through my mind and the relationship examples I am seeing around me right now, I have learned somethings about love. Things that I hope will only make my marriage stronger, deeper, and more true.

I once heard an analogy that Love/marriage is not the two of you rowing the same boat together, but that you are in two separate boats trying to stay next to each other and on the same path. If one person is working harder then they will find themselves gaining distance between the 2 boats and if you are not trying to be involved in what is going on with the other person (interested in or at least supportive of their interests/hobbies that may not be ones you care for personally) you will soon find separation between your 2 boats.

I see everyday how children tend to be the focus of my conversations with my husband, especially since he is obligated with privacy codes at work and church so he can't discuss much of what is seen/done. Life seems to revolve around them...as it should for most moments, but there still needs to be couple time and moments where we can discuss about the new things that we are learning, have time to share in growing experiences and be involved in how the other is changing.

Our ultimate example of Love is the Savior and Heavenly Father and that needs to also be a large part of our lives.

This blog is my thoughts and ideas that I hope will not only help my marriage/family/life as I "journal" them, but give others insight into that someone else is experiencing/learning the same things they are.

2012-01-13T20:40:00.000-08:00

Lately being a mom has brought me laughter and frustration. Maybe it is because I expect my oldest to be the "oldest", the big brother, the more responsible one, the good example. This is a tough task since he is not even 4 yet. Maybe it's because my 2nd son is a little "Dennis the Menace," tearing books apart, throwing anything and everything, hitting, laughing and covering his eyes when I am trying to be mad and discipline him.
I realized today (light bulb moment) that my desires to have a clean house, an organized room, well mannered children all of the time...on and on...doesn't work. But I don't really know what does! With that said, I know that anyone would probably tell me it is a part of parenting. Constantly learning and adjusting and repenting and trying over and over only to have the next child be even more testing in ways that the others weren't.
I gain more and more love and respect for my parents, for the things that they experienced raising me and my siblings. For the fact that we all turned out without major deviations (at least not ones that I know of.) This respect and love goes too for my in-laws.
I LOVE my kids. I love the innocent moments when, wanting to know what character is on their underwear they pull their pants down in a very public place to show me (even though I know already since I pulled them out of the dresser just hours before). I love watching them grow and learn and gain knowledge...I just struggle with that aspect too, since it takes patience, experimenting, patience and repetition among other things.
I have tried to let the exploring/learning happen, but it seems that there is a point where it becomes to much. Like emptying half of the soap in the sink because the way it sprays out is so cool. I don't want my kids to feel like they live in a museum, but I also don't want to be cleaning up spills, continuously repairing book after book, or replacing broken things (just to name a few).
I just keep wondering "at what age?" At what age...can they start doing more chores...do they understand each choice has a consequence...
Many nights I lay in bed thinking how I failed or what I learned or what I achieved in the day.
Wondering if my kids will turn out to be good kids, respectful, honorable, hard working...knowing that with each day the result may feel "failed" but that it is the lump sum of many days that will mold and shape their lives.
I pray in the end they:
1-know that I love them
2-know that the Lord loves them
3-love the Lord back

I need to be better at writing/recording some of the funny things my kids do, growing moments, and milestones (as they call them in the doctors office). I write not for answers but that someday my kids will see what I went through and know I wasn't a perfect parent (since there is no such thing in my opinion.) To see that parenting is challenging yet rewarding. That I loved them through it all.

2011-12-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

Today when I got home from the grocery store I had to take three trips into the house and I only had 2 grocery bags that were not even half full. It is becuase all of my kids had fallen asleep and so one by one I carried them in the house, removed shoes and then laid them on the couch, except the baby she stayed in her car seat (who ever invented the carrier car seat gets my shout out here...it is amazing for sleeping children.) I am suprised they stayed laying on the couch but I will be the last to compalin and the first to enjoy the peace and quiet!

2011-11-13T16:45:00.000-08:00

It's 6 pm and I am done for the day. Unfortunately my kids would major protest going to bed right now. So here I am eating chocolate whoppers and blogging! Of course I am making sure that they are not destroying the house or harming each other, but outside of that, I stopped caring where they drag the blankets and toys and what they are doing with them. There will be a big mess to clean up; dishes, books and toys in the kitchen...bedroom.s...living room...bathroom...(sigh!)
This is the most overwhelmed I have felt since my baby was born. My husband has been on call/working this weekend so since 6 am Friday morning he has been home and awake for 9 hours. Not that I am complaining (because once this moment passes I will be back to normal) but that it is part of why today was hard (that and the thought keeps coming into my mind that my sister would have been here to help with my husbands long work weekend had my husband not been nice to his coworker and switched last weekend for this one!)
I think I handled Friday's 24 hour shift much better because I had an out with the TV. My husband and I have tried not to let TV be turned on on Sundays, but today was a battle within myself to not use it for a break from my kids. It is one of those love/hate relationships. I love that the TV can give me a break but I hate that it is a time waster and also my son would never turn it off if he had the choice. In fact he has made his own TV out of a scrap piece of wood and was pretending to watch it earlier when I declined another request to turn on the TV.
It hasn't helped that my younger son is sick and instead of going to nursery at church I kept him with me. He did pretty good in the adult classes, but it is hard to keep him from being active, making noise, and distracting other people. Thankfully most of the adults are helpful and hopefully understanding as they have ''been there before!''
Oh! there seems to be even more that I could blame for my lack of ability to keep sane today, but the reality is that ''this too shall pass'' and "that which does not kill us makes us stronger!" I'm sure this is partly why everyone seems to say that 3 is the hardest.
Well there goes my baby crying, the swing is no longer making her happy. So here's to motherhood! The BEST but most challenging job :)

Home

2011-10-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

Well we are home. My brand new baby girl is officially part of our home. I am glad that she is here and is healthy. Coming home helps me realize how much easier it was to take care of her before...but it wasn't as fun! She is a typical newborn, eat, sleeps, poops...cuddles with me during nap time.
I will admit that I was not near as anxious to come home as my husband was. Not that I didn't want to be home but because I new I would have to return to being a mom of multiple kids and many "duties." The responsibility of taking care of things in my home, rather then just being taken care of and having little to no responsibility can be enjoyable. Not that I would want it very long or very often, but I was enjoying it. I guess being waited on now and then is just fine. Being home just makes me feel like I should be taking care of my typical responsibilities.
Thankfully my mom has taken over some (probably most!) of my responsibility around the house. It is very nice to have her here and also to have my dad here because the boys love playing with him and it gives me a break. The real life of being a mom of three will begin when my husband goes back to work and my parents leave. Luckily I have a few days before then.
So until then I will just enjoy the next few days and keep telling myself it is okay to let people do things for me :)

Time: fast vs slow

2011-10-06T03:40:00.000-07:00

Normally time seems to go fast. i.e."wow the summer sure went fast," "I can't believe my baby is already in school" etc. In the scheme of the big picture this pregnancy has gone by relatively fast...until yesterday. The day seemed normal until the evening when it just seemed that time was slowed way down. I had gotten the kids to bed before my husband got home from church meetings and my mom and I were just sitting at the table when he got home and sat with us. The thought came to me (as I had felt for the last few hours that there was more that I should be doing since time was going so slow) that this was the calm before the storm.

Now it is the wee hours of the morning and again I find time going a bit slow. I'm sure that it will speed right back up once the sun starts to shed it's light on the day. I'm sure time seeming to slow is because of the anticipation of the day...Today is the day baby 3 will join the family. She was due yesterday and given the past 2 children's disposition to stay inside for several extra days, we were not thinking she would come much earlier and got approval from the doctor to induce today. Tuesday he said that my body was showing readiness but that the baby was not looking as interested (meaning she is still high in my belly). I guess my kids just like being all tucked up inside until they have to come out!

I can honestly say that I am gong through a range of emotions for this day:
*I am excited-ready to meet this little girl, see what she looks like
*I am nervous-everyone says three is the hardest; still not so sure I can handle a girl
*I am anxious-there comes a point that you are just ready for something to be over with. I have loved being pregnant and have felt toward the end of this pregnancy that not going into labor has been okay since it is much easier to handle her without actually needing an extra hand...but there comes a point when even that though can't stop the anxiety from hitting.
*I am scared-labor is not really that fun and I know that I will be sore and I don't really like having pain...truth be told, I kind of am a pansy. I know that it won't last long but still the idea it will be there for several days is just enough to scare me.
*I am happy-Life is good, really it is despite all the bad in the world. This may seem crazy to say I'm happy then mention the bad in the world, but thanks to my Savior and a knowledge of his Eternal plan, I am happy!
*I am grateful-to be able to have another child...to have a husband I love, to have two wonderful (and very trying of my patience) children...to have my parents here to help and also the whole family support that I have felt and know is there among my siblings and in-laws and friends...I think this list could go on and on, I am TRULY blessed and VERY grateful for those blessing!

Due Dates

2011-10-03T05:25:00.000-07:00

Several months ago when it came time to start telling people we were expecting our third we also found out that two of my good friends were also expecting. It was also both of their thirds and we were all due within 2 weeks of each other. I was first, then one friend was due one day after me and the other friend was due 2 weeks after that. Well...it is almost my due date and I am the only one still pregnant! We received a text from the friend due 2 weeks after me that they had their baby boy yesterday. They got the 10-2-11 baby that I was wanting (I thought the birthday of 'ten to eleven' would be cool). My other friend delivered on the 25th of September...she had a girl. So this is the 3rd time that someone I knew pregnant and due after me has delivered before me. I am not really complaining because in a way life is a bit less chaotic right now, but it would be nice to have all the waiting and wondering 'when' over with! But as I am learning/have learned you can never predict these pregnancy things especially when statistically only one percent of babies are born on their due date. Not even the medical field has good odds of telling you when your baby will come!!
So if you want to deliver early I guess you should get pregnant when I do ;)

What a difference a day makes

2011-10-02T06:26:00.000-07:00

Mentally what can a day give you? I have thought about this the past few days...probably because I had mentally planned and prepared for something just to have the date pushed back by a few days. I thought Friday would be my last OB appointment before this little one joins our family on the outside, but due to living in a small town, scheduling rules and a few other things, I will have one more OB appointment and a few extra days of being pregnant. It is okay in a way because it is easier to manage things right now, I don't have lifting or activity restrictions (not really but I of course can't do what I could if I was not pregnant) and I get more sleep then I will with a newborn. So, in a way I have to look at the situation as a blessing even though in my head I was prepared for something else. Now I could go into labor on my own and avoid one more OB checkup and a few extra days of being pregnant, but given my other pregnancies, I (and my husband) quite doubt it.
I think part of the mental aspect is that I had worked it out in my head to maximize time...time that my parents are here, time that my husband would have off work, time to get stuff done, etc. Now I have less time with some things a more time with others. My 'to do' list just grew exponentially. I thought I was being on top of things like cleaning and laundry that were done, but I know they will have to be done one more time (not that they are ever truly done but for the maximal amount of time until they need to be done again). I guess it is good because it will keep me busy and make the days go by a bit faster. I should just remind myself that a few days is nothing when you look at the whole picture of it has taken almost 40 weeks to get to this point!
So the lesson learned (which I seem to repeat learning very often in my life...I guess I just don't learn some things very well!) is that even if you mentally plan/prepare yourself for something, it can change very easy and so you have to be mentally prepared for that too!

A different kind of preparedness

2011-09-11T16:40:00.000-07:00

Today we had an amazing women's conference. A car full of women from my branch rode together for the hour and 45 minute drive there and then we were enriched for the next three and a half hours before our hour and 45 minute ride home. We were first enriched by a wonderful lunch and then we were fed wonderful knowledge for our personal lives and families.

The general session was not topics that you would naturally think a church meeting would discuss, but were powerful and pertinent. The first speaker talked about pornography and it's evil influence. How it can destroy marriages but also how marriages can be healed after taking the proper steps to overcome the silent spiritual killer. The men in the church have been hearing this one for a long time now, but now it is our turn and probably because it is affecting more and more more families not just through the father. There was a statistic given that was mind churning and truly heart wrenching...out of 40,000 people in the survey, 45% said they were "hooked" on pornography by 11-16 years old, 25% were between 17-19 but the scary-sad part was that 9% were hooked 5-10 years of age. That was a wake up call that the things I need to begin talking about with my children are not that far away!

The second speaker was a lawyer/school teacher who talked about cyberbullying, sexting, and internet safety. I have heard of these things but was not aware just how prevalent it is becoming...correct myself -IT IS. 1 in 4 youth are cyberbulled and of those not bullied, 65% know someone who is/has been cyberbullied. This topic along with the other two topics, and I was just awe struck as I was hearing not only the things he had to say but what the ladies in the congregation were contributing. S.C.A.R.Y! My mind kept asking "Can I just keep my kids little?" Answer: No! I know I can't so then I was turned to contempation about how I can teach them, help them, protect them from the evil that is everywhere around them.

It is hard to wrap up a two hour mini course into a few words, especially when I am not loquacious in any degree, but my take home message comes down to a few things that I will try to share. (and believe me, the more I think about it the longer my list is getting!!)
1-The Gospel is amazing and we are so blessed to have inspired leaders who have been warning and teaching us of avoiding such evils for years now.
2-The Gospel has the keys we need to start protecting/teaching/helping if we REGULARLY use them (i.e. attend church, scripture study, prayer, repentance...all those seminary answers we could plug into any question posed and they would not be wrong)
3-We need to establish open communication. Bold in some areas, blunt and with genuine love. This needs to be there between husband and wife and then between parent and child. If we don't talk to them, someone else will, and it will probably not be the information we want them to have.
4-We also need to start EARLY. If we think that waiting until they age "dating age"...we are too late! Remember 9% of those polled were hooked to porn between 5-10 years of age.
5-With certain privileges comes specific or certain conditions. i.e. with the internet, there is much good, but also easy access to much evil. They need to know not to go to such sites and they need to know if they come across a "not so good site" how to quickly get away and to also not be afraid to talk about it so it can be prevented. There are great resources out there for taking precautionary measures, but I/we can't be naive in thinking this will solve the problem...they need also to be talked to about if they are exposed to things they find wrong.
6-We can't avoid everything. So prepare, teach and warn for when it does come.
7-We need to not only not do things, but to stand up for others (this is from the cyberbullying part but is applicable in other aspects).

We then split up into two groups and had another great meeting about the importance of family dinner time but that may need to be another post since this one has now reached the "long post" status!

Being Christ-like

2011-08-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

I try to be Christ-like and I try to serve others. But today I find myself needing a change of heart to be more Christ-like.

I wonder how Christ felt about helping people who don't help themselves. The advantage He had which I don't is that he knew what was in people's hearts. (But he loved them anyway even if it wasn't right...that is amazing)

Despite my desire to have my husband home doing things on our own home and helping me out, I would never stop him from going and helping another family. I know they need his help more. I just was thinking as I was moping how hard it must have been to be Christ and to never get a break and then to suffer for us all. We are truly blessed to have such a Savior and Brother who loves us that much.

Quality Father Time

2011-08-26T07:39:00.000-07:00

This week has been hard on my patience since every night after work my husband has had something going on that has taken him back out of the house in the evening.
Whether it was back to work for something, a church meeting, or another meeting, he has been able to come home to eat dinner but then has had to leave fairly soon after. A few nights have been quick meetings but one lasted until after the boys were in bed.
I know that after dinner is usually when I get some time to myself because the kids are playing with dad, even if it only lasts 15 minutes before one of them are back trying to see/help me with what I am doing.
I try and be supportive but I did finally make a comment last night about him being gone for another night.

I guess that is why the average quality time a father spends with his children is only 30 seconds a day! This is a true statistic that my husband heard/read about while at work. To me that is sad. I can see how it is so little because many fathers don't see their kids everyday, but considering how many fathers now stay at home I would think/hope it would be more. I am VERY glad that my husband spends much more then that with his kids. I can tell that not only do I need the 'longer then 30 seconds' father time, but the boys do too. There is something he can give them that I can't.

My oldest has kind of grown out of it, but my middle child is right at the age that when dad comes home, he stops what he is doing to run over and greet dad, repeating daddy the whole way there. It is very cute and I don't know any dad that wouldn't love such a warm greeting.

Thankfully it is Friday and we have plans for tonight that will not take my husband away! We need our quality father time in this house!!

8 Weeks

2011-08-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

I have somewhere around eight weeks left until my baby comes. There are times when I am ready to have my normal energy and comfortable insides back! This one is a mover!! But then I think about having to balance one more person and I tell myself I can wait. I have always felt they are much easier to take care of on the inside.
I am also not ready to start the few interrupted hours of sleep a night...guess it's is a good thing I have 8 weeks left. It is funny (in the interesting way) that somehow we do such crazy things (sleep deprive, labor/delivery, intentionally allow something to grow inside us that beats us up, etc) and then repeat them. Interesting that somehow we manage to get through the tough times and then forget about them (for the most part). I know that much of the hard parts will be done with prayer and holding to the fact "this too shall pass"...until the next time!
I am excited to see what this one will look like, what color of hair, will she look like either of the other kids. They both look like their dad despite the different hair color. Maybe this one will look like me? Who knows really!?!
I know that I am in for a whole new learning process, which I will admit sometimes scares me...greatly! Not only with a new gender, but a whole new season of starting life (ie fall vs spring). I want to remain laid back and not stress, but I wonder will I. With this one coming at the start of the RSV and the flu season, rather then the end like the others, it already has me wondering how I can still go out and be active but protect her. I really enjoyed taking walks with my newborns, having them cuddled close to me, being able to breathe fresh air. But when it is getting warm rather then getting cold you can do that. So what will be my break from the house? All these things that go through my head. Some trivial, and some genuine things to stop and actually ponder.
I guess in due time I will learn the answers to many of my wondering!

A girl

2011-06-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

I found out the gender of my baby to come and, drum roll... a girl! There is excitement and fright all wrapped into one. I can't tell what my husband thinks or even if he has strong feelings either way. The US tech was teasing him that there really "wasn't more" and it was very strongly convincing that it is a girl.
After boys it will be nice to have a change of pace, but am I ready for the "change of pace" a girl will bring?
I just see how girls are so much more emotional and dramatic. I am much more of a hit something, be mad for a bit, then done with it person. Not a cry for attention and affection, "hold me for 10 minutes longer then the pain lasted" kind of person.
I probably was that type of child, but I don't remember and since I don't I choose to think that I wasn't :)

Then there is the pink. Not that pink is bad, but a pink shirt, with pink pants, with pink shoes, with pink hair bows...that it way to much pink. And I see this all pink outfit often. I know that I will have some say for the first two years of life, but is that still enough time to come with seeing all pink outfits...and multiple days in a row!?!
Let's admit it I get tired when my boys just want the same color or style outfit day after day. With my oldest it is red. I think he would wear 100% red if I had that many red clothes in his drawer (this is where I remind myself that he is getting himself dressed and not me!) Oh well, let them be little, right!

However, I am excited to think that the relationship I have with my mother can continue with my own daughter. The things that she will want to learn and know that a boy just doesn't care for.

There are lots of things to look forward to, but there are things that I know I will just have to tell myself "it's okay, this too shall pass!"

Discipline Woe's

2011-05-16T17:57:00.000-07:00

The drive to keep with the discipline is sometimes very difficult. I understand how some parents just throw their hands in the air and go "whatever", or "I've had enough." Tonight I had enough. it was such a small thing that required discipline but turned into a huge event and in my head I was thinking ..."all over a dumb toy." It was very frustrating to continue with the discipline when I was done with it and knew it was just a small thing and shouldn't be this big of a deal.
So I decided (sometimes) that drive to follow through and to not just throw my hands up needs a reason that is more then what is happening in the event, something "pre-found." Otherwise giving up would have happened and I'm sure if I did it one I would do it again.

Problem Solving vs Tattling

2011-05-12T05:55:00.000-07:00

So at what point is "coming to tell mom" tattling or problem solving?
My oldest child is just getting to the point where problem solving is more than a physical response and he is beginning to understand not to hit or cry/whine when something does not go his way and when I am trying to teach him to tell me so that I can change the activity or steer him to another toy/distraction.
But I was thinking about this parenting thing as I was working on someone else's house with another lady who had 2 of her kids (a 3 1/2 year old boy and a 5 year old girl).
I decided it is hard to know and establish to a child the difference between tattling on someone or learning how to get a mediator involved in the situation.
The personality of my child comes out when there are kids who whine or cry more then others. He tends to egg those individuals on. I can't decide if it is a conscious thing and he likes to hear others scream/whine/cry or what he is trying to do, especially after I repeatedly tell him to "back off," "to "leave them alone" to "find a different toy"... etc.
Yesterday was going pretty well until the other little boy decided he no longer wanted to play with my boy unless he initiated it. So every time my son got too close to the other boy there was some whining heard. So I tried to be the mediator after it got too annoying (to me) and give my child something else to do (i.e. help me with my task). The little girl was actually playing well with my son and asked if she could help as well. Peace established...for 2 minutes until the other little boy wants to do what the others are but mostly wanting what my son has and then ensued a big fight/tantrum (that got my child timeout for not sharing and taking turns, and me wishing the other mother would help with this problem because I can't put her son in timeout for hitting or not sharing back and I don't want to go "tattle.")
Finally the other mother asked why my son was upset and I tried to explain why he was crying and in timeout and so she did get involved. After things settled down I tried to be ahead of another issue by putting my son on another task...outside, which as soon as I did the little girl was willing to go help him and then they got to playing. Peace established again! Eventually the other boy did go outside to join the others and either I couldn't hear whining or my son stopped irritating the other little boy.

This was a rambling story but my whole issue of the day is when I'm telling my child to just come tell me so that I can help with the situation and in my head I am wondering, "I am teaching him to tattle?" Or when I am trying to mediate with my child but the child who has the problem puts himself right back into the picture. I feel bad putting my child in timeout when the problem he was causing is solved and now the problem is not really being caused by him. I know the principles of sharing and taking turns apply to all situations which is why timeout was issued but I feel bad punishing my child when he was trying to just do the task I gave him. (I sometimes feel I am the meanest mother)
Oh the joys of being a parent, not only are we trying to teach right from wrong but we are also getting a crash course ourselves...or at least a different perspective of the rights and wrongs!

Pertussis

2011-05-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

This is an amazing story. I first came across the mother when dealing with some photography questions that she helped with. I find their story touching and something that we ALL should be aware of.

http://natalienortonblog.com/2011/05/08/richie-and-i-on-ksl/

So please share this link, video, story anyway you can so that we can put to purpose Gavin's (short) life's mission.

3 Weeks

2011-05-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

A lot can happen in three weeks and a lot can only be started in 3 weeks. When you are looking at a 40 week project (and in my case 41 typically) what is a mere 3 weeks? But I think they are going to be some of the hardest three weeks. The reason being...that is how long I have to wait to find out the gender of my baby. For some reason I am more obsessed with what the gender will be with this baby.
Maybe it is because this is the start to the garage sales and I would like to know what areas in my child's wardrobe need to be filled. Or maybe it is the excitement of the idea I get to do some shopping! Who knows this baby might be a shopper (aka girl), I do have the shopper bug lately!

A third!?!

2011-05-01T14:06:00.000-07:00

So this is a blog of emotion...written back when I first found out I was pregnant with baby number three.

When the test said 'positive' I went through a whirlwind of emotion within 24 hours. There was initial excitement, followed by shock and disbelief, then the thought of one more kid running around worried me...could I handle another? I have heard that three is the hardest.

Going from one to two was not a problem, or better put, not a major transition. I still felt like I could manage the things that I needed to and felt balanced without feeling crazy. Yes, there were/are hard days but I still feel like I was on top of most things.

Eventually I found myself back to level emotion, not swaying to far on the emotion scale and balancing in the middle where everything is right there but nothing blown out of proportion.

Since that moment, thoughts and the wonderments continue to flow, especially at the times I seem to be trying to fall asleep at night! Can I handle three? What will get neglected; the house, the laundry, the workout regimin...something has to give...doesn't it? Will it be another highly active child or one a little more mellow? A boy? A girl? Who knows.

I know that nothing can prepare me for the third more then having the third here. The months of gestation will help. Advice and helpful tips will also play a role.

I am excited because I knew with my second that it was not the last baby to join our family, that impression came the first night in the hospital only hours after delivering baby number two. I know that I am in for challenging moments and a large learning curve. But how lucky our family will be to have another member, and how lucky I am to be a mother to another special spirit. I will continue to find the greatest work I can do in my home will begin and end with me on my knees!

A piece of history

2011-04-10T06:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a wonderful opportunity to return to some of my old roots, or previous affiliations. I was part of a team years ago and had an alumni reunion/mini tournament. It was great to be back in action since it has been almost 2 years since putting on those special shoes. I would say there is a reason we used to practice so much, it really does help. I enjoyed playing and it reminded me how much I loved that part of my history. In reflecting things with my husband on the drive home, I am glad that I had such an opportunity and despite the fact I miss it greatly, I am happy with the events that lead me down a different path and the one that lead me to him and eventually where we are today.
I often reflect on some of the "missed" moments or chances of my past and wonder how I can change the things I do today to reflect or better myself for tomorrow because I can not change the past. Basically I try to give myself some future hindsight, if that is even possible! I also hope that I can put that knowledge into raising my children and helping them get the most out of whatever they are doing and not have regret or desire to relive the past. I know that it isn't always possible, we learn much through our own experiences, and some of those can't be prevented even though people try to help us. At least I can remember someone trying to teach me something, but I just didn't take until I went through what they were trying to help me avoid. But it is also those things that develop and define who we are-this I realize and I want my kids to have those experiences, just without having to 'fall the whole way down' before they get back up.
I also have been thinking how it is that I can let some of those people in my past know how grateful I am that I was a part of it and to thank them for the past and also the work that went into yesterday. A thank you note seems best, but I wonder if it will relay what I truly feel or even if it will be proper. The things that I wonder sometimes.
I was also payed a priceless comment. I doubt the person who said it even knows how much it means to me. I am a competitor, and I put a lot of effort into the past and the commitments I had made to be part of the team. I took it serious and I didn't always pay attention to how my attitude or emotion affected others around me. That said I never felt "a favorite." So the compliment that "I was one of their favorite players" and that "I still have it" really means a lot to me. Since it has been YEARS and there have been MANY others I would have never put myself in that category. Some things are nice to hear! So tell people when you appreciate them, you never know just how much it might make their day.
(Oh and I know I am not a good writer :)

A Cough, A Sneeze

2011-02-23T19:17:00.000-08:00

So when is a cough just a cough and a sneeze just a sneeze and nothing more?
When is it safe to take the little cough-er out in public?
Is it bad to go outside on a somewhat warm day when they have a runny nose?
When do you worry and when do you not?
How do you not worry when they don't want to eat or drink and thus they only have 2 wet diapers in a 12 hour stretch?

Oh the things on my mind as my little ones are sick.

How to organize DVDs

2011-02-09T20:03:00.000-08:00

ARE YOU TIRED OF THIS?

Movies constantly being pulled off the shelf by little hands?

Tired of picking them up?

Over and over again?

This was a daily, if not hourly issue at my house. So after reading a few others' ideas and trying to decide what would work best for me, I came up with a new way to organize my DVDs that eliminates:

1-The constant 'clean up' poky that was going on between me and the kids,

2-lots of space to store the DVDs,

3-DVDs getting scratched because the kids got to them when I wasn't aware.

So if you are in need of an idea on how to avoid the above issues, here is what I did.

First- I ordered a CD/DVD binder that would be large enough to hold all the DVDs we have with enough room to add to our collection. You might be able to buy them at your local retail store but I could not find one in my town and so I just ordered one I liked online through eBay.

They even have some really cool CD holders that look more like the binding of a book. I just went a cheaper binder since it will be going in a closet.

Then I separated each DVD into 3 things; the DVD, the paper cover insert, and the plastic case.

I put the DVD into my nice new binder,

Three hole punched the paper cover insert and this will act as the guide/index to our movies.

Another option is the clear protector sheets and then you don't have to worry about the paper getting spilled on or ripped (thought of this after I completed my project but just might be looking into it. I think you can get 50 protector pages for around $4.)

I wanted to keep the DVDs separate from the guide so that they would not be miss handled by little hands, but liked the idea of them (or me) being able to see a picture when deciding what to watch.

Some DVDs come with only a cardboard front with a half plastic case like this...

But it removes easily and then I kept the cardboard piece to put into the index folder.

You could trim the edges since it will look like this once it is out, but I didn't. I did however remove the little proof of purchase strip in the middle as to avoid any pieces of paper that may get taken off by little hands in the future.

Then comes the plastic cases...

There are lots of them! I figure I will ask the local library if they have any need. Some are recyclable and that is a good way to go. Who knows there may be some store or person in your local area who needs such a thing (I actually had someone offer to take about 20 of them from me.) Listing them on "Craigslist" or another swap type site may just help you eliminate them from having to build up the trash pile! 'Go Green' if you can.

When you are all done, you will have a CD case full of movies...making the required storage space shrink down from an entire 4 ft x 2 ft shelf unit to about 12 in x 12in x 4in...depending on the size of case you need and if you only need one. Plus it can be put in a closet or another area where it is now away from the kids.

You will have a nice color illustrated index of all the DVDs...

...and a new book shelf for all the books that we have been slowly collecting and they were spilling out of the 1 bin they were in.

I know I just went from picking up DVDs multiple times a day to now subjecting myself to the books being pulled off the shelf multiple times a day, but I figure books don't get ruined if they get scratched and a little hand can never go wrong looking at a book :)

Plus, I have only had to pick up books twice in over a week...and it has never been more then one shelf worth, which was not the case with the DVDs. Go figure! Maybe now that it no longer an 'off limits' area it just isn't as fun to mess up !?!

Hope this helps you with your constant DVD 'clean up poky' in your house.

Vomit or Diarrhea !?!

2011-02-08T19:12:00.000-08:00

Kind of a scary title, but read on and you will understand :)

What would you rather clean up?

Since I have had both situations this past week with sick kids, I most unfortunately have had to clean up both :( ...
and...
It has been confirmed ...
I would rather clean up vomit. For some reason the whole diarrhea thing just is grosser to me. Whereas my husband would rather diarrhea because it 'tends to stay more contained'. As least that was one of the reasons he gave.
Funny enough, we actually had this conversation because he had it earlier in the day with a co-worker. So far I am the odd one.
It is a 1-2 score.
Help me out people...
What would you rather clean up?

How do you do stains?

2011-02-01T19:02:00.000-08:00

I had someone ask me how I get stains out. So I thought this would be a good post topic and anyone could offer some advise on how to get stains out.

How I get food stains out:
1-Spray N Wash. But I don't just spray and walk away, I scrub after spraying usually with and old medium bristle tooth brush. If it is a tougher stain I will scrub hard with my finger nail.
2-If it is a stain that looks set in after the scrub or just a tough stain, I use a soak of Oxy Clean. My soak is 1/2 cup powder Oxy Clean to a half gallon (I use an old ice cream bucket) of water. Then I soak for at least 2 hours. If it is a stain that got fully washed and did not come out (thus it was put in the dryer) I have been know to leave the article of clothing in the Oxy clean soak for several days.
3-I try to check the stain before drying it but it doesn't always happen.

For pen and marker stains (I have even got permanent marker out this way)
1-Wet the area
2-Spray with hair spray then scrub. Repeat if necessary.
3-Depending on how it looks at that point I may use Spray N Wash but not always.

I should treat when the stain occurs, but I usually don't...especially with the kids clothes. I usually just treat before washing. With the Oxy Clean soak, I don't usually combine colors and whites, and in order to soak for the few hours needed I wash the color that is soaking last on my laundry day or of the 4 or 5 loads I have to wash.

This is not a fail safe stain treat-er but it works for me...most of the time :)
Happy Stain Fighting!

Murder in a small town

2011-01-24T12:17:00.000-08:00

Last Friday a 14 year old girl went missing and come Saturday and 18 year old boy had turned himself in after they found her body Friday evening. He has not been charged and they are not releasing much information at this point, but I find myself wanting that information. I am not usually a 'rubber-necker" but seeing how it has been somewhere around 20 years since the last murder in our town, it isn't a common thing and I want to know, "what went wrong in a small town?"
Was is drugs? Was it another out raged teen? (seeing how one in a larger town a raged teen open fired on his high school administration killing the Principal and himself.) Was it a sex crime? Whatever it was it was, my heart feels for the family of that girl. To have her life ended before it really began (I can say that because I am over twice her age!). Not to mention the family of the boy. They will always love their son and now they will have to live with what he has done also.
I am very grateful for my faith and my knowledge that my family is Eternal. I hope that I can keep my family strong in faith and raise my kids to stay close to the Savior...even in a small town.

Well Questioned

2011-01-21T18:25:00.000-08:00

This is a friend of mine that had her 3rd baby not to long ago. She poses some real good questions that mothers with growing families face (and some that I have had myself). I can say this is why I started this blog was to put thoughts like this out there.

http://myfriendlikely.blogspot.com/2011/01/help-wanted.html

I know that some days I have questions much like hers and I am sure in the future when baby #3 comes I will resonate even more the things she is going through.

If you want to offer some advice, all us mothers can use it!

Terrible Two's

2011-01-19T18:06:00.000-08:00

Why is it that two year olds have to make things so difficult. i.e. :
"Let's get dressed (as he is jumping and running around the room)...come here and get dressed (lying and rolling on the floor this time)...come now or i will not help you (still on the floor)..." So I put the clothes on the floor and then it becomes a crying battle;
"Mommy help me" as he picks up the clothes and follows me to the kitchen.
"No, you need to do it yourself now...I asked you to come and you wouldn't so now you need to try" More crying and more tantrum;
"NO Mommy, YOU help me"
"Okay I will help you if you don't fight me anymore". One piece of clothes on and he starts jumping around again. ARGH! Is my two year old winning this battle?

The sad thing is that terrible two is followed by terrifying three!

Tupperware

2011-01-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to a Tupperware party. It was rather interesting how they made lasagna and a chocolate cake in a Tupperware dish...in the microwave! I just don't think of the microwave as a cooker, but a defroster and a re-heater. Either way it is interesting to know that Tupperware is still around just as it was with my mother...but "it is not my mother's Tupperware." My mom still has some of the Tupperware she bought probably when I was 8 which is why I was tempted to buy some of those timeless things. But, in the end they were not the sale items and I have a hard time paying a lot of money for something that I don't need right now or even ever. Timing is everything when it comes to parties like this, and the timing was not in favor of my money! (well not much of it :)

I did find out that the children's round shape sorter (half red and half blue with yellow shapes) come from Tupperware.

I will say they have a lot of cool things, but not things that I felt were worth spending for right now. Maybe another day.

Why?

2011-01-13T11:32:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about a wide variety of things. Some are matters that don't really have a solution but just need to be said and others have easy solutions, once I can see clearly enough to deal with it. Either way I thought I would start a blog where I could just put those thoughts and feelings out there and off my mind. I may just be on my soap box, not really wanting answers, just typing. They will not change who I want to be or even reflect how I choose to deal with them, I just wanted a place to ramble...or a soapbox to stand on!